John Irving

On or around August 16th of 1984, the world was changed. For it was on that very day, that Edward Joseph Irving absolutely slammed Dorothy Colleen Matheny whilst in a tent near Mantua Resevoir, in the lovely mountains of Utah. Unbeknownst to them, a Spirit Bear of ancient origins was watching from a nearby shrub. Were he any other type of bear, he may have been labeled a Pedobear for watching Edward so thoroughly ravage Colleen. But no! This was a Spirit Bear. So impressed by Edward's techniq...

On or around August 16th of 1984, the world was changed. For it was on that very day, that Edward Joseph Irving absolutely slammed Dorothy Colleen Matheny whilst in a tent near Mantua Resevoir, in the lovely mountains of Utah. Unbeknownst to them, a Spirit Bear of ancient origins was watching from a nearby shrub. Were he any other type of bear, he may have been labeled a Pedobear for watching Edward so thoroughly ravage Colleen. But no! This was a Spirit Bear. So impressed by Edward's technique was Koto-Jo (the Spirit Bear) that he blessed the seed of Edward with the powers of Rock and Roll. Twenty Five Earth years later, you are visiting the profile of the results of that warm August night in the Wellsville mountains. The blessing of Koto-Jo have enabled John Edward Irving to take the skill of acoustic vibery to never-before-seen levels of mastery. It has been said that just hearing John Edward Irving play the acoustic guitar will give you a quadruple orgasm. And when he picks up his signature instrument, the Ukulele of Truth... well, to quote another Spirit Being - 90's rapper Coolio: "There ain't no party like a John Irving Ukulele party 'cuz a John Irving ukulele party don't stop." So what can one expect from a John Irving performance? That may be the most difficult question man has ever posed. John Irving is not limited by genres, or by a single musical instrument. You may hear a ukulele rendition of Ricky Martin's "Livin' La Vida Loca" followed by an original song about beer or macaroni and cheese followed by a Dr. Dre song on acoustic guitar. And just when you think that irreverence is John's game, he'll flip the script and give you a 500mg dose of emotion with some heartfelt original songs or perhaps some Ray Lamontagne covers. The spirit of Koto-Jo lives in John Irving. And he is ready to use such supernatural forces to rock your fucking face.