The Underground Innovator

Duration

3:22

Genres

Spoken Word/Perf. Poetry

Description

Lyrics

A middle-aged man with long black hair and a thick mustache and soul patch stands at a podium in front of a large crowd of reporters. A silver pellet is stuffed into each of his nostrils and he's holding a conductor's baton. His arms wave back in forth in time, directing the crowd. Cameras flash rapidly all around the room. Reporter #1: Why are we here today? Zappa: I'm considering running for president. Reporter #1: Why? Zappa: The people in this country were bred to purchase things. Without deviation, progress is not possible. Several reporters raise their hands. The man at the podium points. Zappa: You, sir Reporter #2: What will be the focus of your campaign? Zappa: Legalize and tax all drugs, tax the churches, legalize and tax prostitution, and make sure politicians have easy access because they're the ones that need to get laid the most. The man at the podium brushes his hair back with his hand. He extends two fingers and touches the pellets in his nose, making sure they're snug. Zappa: The evils that affect American society... many of them were produced by TV: all the poor information that was programmed into the minds of the people who watch the television set, all of the attitudes and false values were brought to them through the television set. I believe that people have a right to decide their own destinies; people own themselves. I also believe that, in a democracy, government exists because, and only so long as, individual citizens give it a 'temporary license to exist' in exchange for a promise that it will behave itself. In a democracy, you own the government, it doesn't own you. The crowd falls silent in disbelief, as if this was a radical idea. Reporter #3: No offense, but... you're weird. Your music is weird. Zappa: I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird. Music is always a commentary on society. A lot of what we do is designed to annoy people to the point where they might, just for a second, question enough of their environment to do something about it. Once again, without deviation, progress is not possible. Reporter #4: You went to college for... one semester? How are you qualified... Zappa: If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library. Zappa: Well, that's all I have for you. Good night! The strange man waves as he takes a deep breath, then one at a time blows the silver pellets from his nose. He promptly turns to his right and walks off the stage.