Bride of Drunken Stine

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The Bride of Drunken Stine They got married on the 13th day of Oktoberfest She wore white leather, he rocked that biker vest They got each other's names tattoo'd on their knuckles - Shelly D and Stine And the Justice O' the Peace had a big belt buckle that said "You may kiss the bride." And the whiskey overflowed like an old commode with a broken line And the kin came in with the biggest pig south of the Mason Dixon line Stine raised a little bit too much hell and drank a little bit too much shine And when he went down for the count, Shelly D and her kissin' cousins had them a good time On the night of the Bride of Drunken Stine 'Ol Shelly D stole a 20 and the keys to Stine's new monster truck Peeled out, took a swig, gave the finger and yelled "Gotta turn it up!" Well, Stine came alive, found he didn't have a dime and could not feel his head Looked to me like Shelly D was fixin' to be newly dead She was doing body shots off college boys He was hikin' in to town She was drinkin' triples, flashin' her dimples while he's lookin' all around Big rig driver saw that moonshine survivor Hey buddy do you need a ride On the Night of the Bride of Drunken Stine (spoken) And the rain came down, the night she crossed that line She was driving too fast on the road back home and didn't see that sign (heavy again) And the big rig hauler slammed on his hydraulics and you should've seen the face on Stine As he watched everything that he ever had in a burnt twisted metal pile and he said... I'm gonna miss that truck On the night of bride, who connived and contrived On the night of the bride who died and fried On the night of the bride of drunken Stine.