Johnny's Hat and the Jack Palance

Duration

2:40

Genres

New Folk

Description

Lyrics

Johnny’s Hat and the Jack Palance VERSE 1 See I was hoping for a quiet one After last night’s fun and games, When he bursts out the doors shouting, “C’mon Johnny grab your hat, Get a shift-on, sharpish! we’ve gotta run now boy, see Its like I said, the fight in the dog, that’s only half the story I need to urgently locate that freckley girl I fell in lust with yesterday And no feint heart has ever won a red-headed maiden So guess what? Its off we trot and I got All proper hot and bothered, And oh no, not a care in the world Except for how, in the most hospitable hospital-able part of town Are we ever gonna find this red-headed girl CHORUS But it has to be said in Tommy’s defence That those kinds of guys who are dumb enough To think they can change the world, you know the type? Well yeah there the kind of guys Who always get the girls VERSE2 So we end up at a party with a floozy in the jacuzzi And Tommy makes a B-Line for the girls in the bubbles So I’m an observer amid this fervour not looking for no trouble And from cast of thousands I’m getting the evils from this one guy With a face like a bashed in shit-can, a real sight for soar eyes Now I know he knows, I know he knows, I know he knows, I don’t know shit from shinola Trying to look Vinnie Jones but its all just piss and vinegar And anyway things do start to gradually settle down Until I’m cornered by this disgruntled six-foot Doberman. I’m telling myself, “Keep you powder dry and You can still come out of this on top” Cooing “there’s a nice doggie” and looking for a big rock And the shit-can man takes unmbridge to the cut of my jib And that’s when Johnny comes back and decides That this is a good time to throw his hat in the ring CHORUS So its all gone a bit larey, no mistake, But bear in mind with all this what we said earlier yeah? That only those who are dumb enough to try and change the world, We all agreed! That they’re the ones who get the girls VERSE 3 So me and Tommy both know we’re on a hiding to nothing here It seems our little saurey has caused a bit of a stir The local boys brigade are on parade and none too pleased And they want to see to it that me and/or Tommy gets hurt So there we are in a Mexican Fort doing our best Butch and Sundance When like a miracle through the crowd steps the freckle-faced chick Saying “Oh Tommy! When the cops took you off I thought I’d lost you forever!” And it turns out Tommy took a rap for ‘em And they all owe him a favour. So apart from all the laughter we lived happy ever after And as Tommy says, and he was quite insistant that we point this out! He said, "Even the biggest, tallest, widest tree they ever found Started off as a small nut and it just stood its ground." CHORUS Because as we’ve established, beyond all reasonable doubt Those who are dumb enough to try and change the world, Are usually the only ones who, and don’t ask me how They do it, but they Always cracking the code, disarming the missile, Landing the damaged aeroplane, Killing all the bad guys, freeing all the hostages, Befriending the king of the monster, Shooting down the spaceship, detonating the meteor thus saving the world And always always always I’m talking like a 100% guaranteed Absolute dead certainty They always get the girl