Long, long ago. A time was prophesied of a great musical depression. A time when all guitarists would play droning chord progression and songs would be comprised of only three chords. In an attempt to save the world from this musical travesty, "Professor Floyd" -a bass shredding mad scientist- warned the world of such a tragedy, but none would heed his warning. "Professor Floyd" knew that the fate of guitar music rested upon his shoulders, and he did sneak around and collect the genetic mater...
Long, long ago. A time was prophesied of a great musical depression. A time when all guitarists would play droning chord progression and songs would be comprised of only three chords. In an attempt to save the world from this musical travesty, "Professor Floyd" -a bass shredding mad scientist- warned the world of such a tragedy, but none would heed his warning. "Professor Floyd" knew that the fate of guitar music rested upon his shoulders, and he did sneak around and collect the genetic material from the greatest guitar players of all time. The professor knew that he must protect his secret from the corporate record producers -who sought to control minds throughout the world with the sounds of there hypnotic droning puppets. For if they had known of the experiment, they would have certainly drugged him too. As the story is told, deep within the whiteness of the frozen tundra, the professor built his secret laboratory. He used the genetic material to create what would be known to the world as "Damen Austin," and cryogenically froze this guitar anomaly later to be thawed in the fore-told time. For decades the laboratory had been covered by layers of ice and snow. The prophesies would soon be fulfilled. Al G. started "Global Warming" and invented the "World Wide Web" to further his take over and spread his venomous ideology. At this time the professor feared that all hope would be lost and he knew that he must thaw the guitar phenomenon. With great haste, he returned to his lab, drew forth his mighty bass, and began to play the ice shattering, brain busting bass riffs of the ancient masters. As a mishap of fate, the tremendous sound waves caused a mighty explosion. This sent them hurling from the tundra and into a wooded glen, where the "Lumber Jack" had been "chop dancing" his rage away. Having been transmuted by the musical radiation of the explosion. The "Lumber Jack" joined the dynamic duo to form "The Damen Austin Band."
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